t can be extremely difficult to focus on the good when, seemingly, bad things are happening in your life. However you can train your mind to focus on the good things in your life rather than dwelling on the bad. No it’s not one of those positive thinking articles that you’ve read all over the web and are sick and tired of. This is about changing the way you think, changing your thinking pattern. Do you use any of these thinking patterns in your day to day life?
8 limiting patterns of thinking
8 limiting patterns of thinking
- ‘Life is shit’ Thinking pattern –Everything in life is bad, everybody is not to be trusted and nothing good will ever happen to them e.g. “I won’t get that job, the interviewer didn’t like me, I didn’t particularly like them anyway.”
- ‘Unsubstantiated conclusive’ Thinking pattern– You tend to make a lot of conclusions without any evidence to back up your conclusions. This can be a really destructive pattern as it can limit you in seeing reality for what it is e.g. “He walks a bit funny, he must be gay.” (I actually heard someone saying this about a colleague last week).
- ‘Never to me’ Thinking pattern – This is when you think nothing good will ever happen to you. This can be a deep seated way of thinking and it is a deep down inability to believe you are worthy of anything good happening to you e.g. “I’ll never have money, I’ve never had it before so I’ll never have it in the future, might as well carry on with this shitty job, at least it pays the mortgage.”
- ‘The negative psychic’ Thinking pattern – Presuming you know what people are thinking about you and it’s all bad. e.g. “She thinks I’m an idiot, I’ll try to avoid talking to her.”
- ‘Should, would, could’ Thinking pattern – This type of person knows what they have to do to change their life, they are capable and they know it and they would do it if only……… e.g. “I know I could go to university and I would, but I’m just to busy with other things right now, I’ll apply next year.”
- ‘Emotion based’ Thinking pattern – Your emotions control what you are thinking and therefore your vision of what reality is e.g. “I feel incapable of doing that so I must be incapable”.
- ‘It’s all my fault’ Thinking pattern – You see yourself as being the cause of everything bad that has happened e.g. “It’s my fault he left me for another woman.” You’ll notice this type of person does not take responsibility for the good things that happen.
- ‘They’re all wrong’ Thinking pattern – You see everyone as incapable of doing anything right and your way is the best way to do it e.g. “He can’t do it right, I’ll stay late tonight and fix it when he’s gone.”
These are just some of the common thinking patterns I have come across in my life and I have used some of them myself, I used to use mix the ‘Never to me’ and ‘The negative psychic’thinking patterns about everything, “She’ll never go out with me she thinks I’m an idiot.” I made a conscious effort to change what I believed about myself and what I believed about the world and it has literally changed my life.
Steps to change negative attitude to positive one
Here is a 21-day five-step program to change a negative attitude to a positive one.
1. Take charge of what you're thinking.
This is a moment-by-moment decision that doesn't happen overnight. It's a habit that will take some time to build. How can you do this? Choose to think uplifting thoughts instead of discouraging ones.
You get to decide what you think, which in turn determines how you feel. Become aware of this and dwell on positive ideas throughout the day.
At first you may have to force yourself to find something positive. Consider keeping a journal and write down at least one good thing in your life each day for three weeks. Then think about these blessings instead of discouraging thoughts.
2. Read inspirational material.
During this 21-day training period, fill your mind with good thoughts. The best book of all to read is that priceless diamond of world literature - the Bible. You'll never know what wonderful results from reading it are around the corner until you open its covers!
3. Focus on others. For the next 21 days make an extra effort to help other people. Concentrating on assisting others will help you more than you realize. If you succeed in becoming wealthy but are poor in respect to your relationships, you will not be truly prosperous at all!
So make a special effort of focusing on others during your 21 days of building your new positive-attitude habit. This will free you up to allow the butterfly of happiness to land on your shoulder when you least expect it.
4. Take care of your health needs.
It's hard to maintain a positive mindset if you've neglected your physical needs. So during the 21 days of your attitude retraining make an extra effort to eat nutritious balanced meals.
Not getting enough sleep will also be a tremendous hindrance, so make sure you're getting adequate rest. And don't forget to get enough exercise. When you feel down, try to take a brisk 30-minute walk. You'll feel revived!
5. Learn contentment
For the next 21 days focus on what you have and not on what you don't have. Live in the present and enjoy your blessings.
Try to forget acquiring stuff for the purpose of keeping up with others. That only leads to more anxiety. Be thankful for what you do have instead.
When going through difficult experiences - remember that adversity can be a blessing in disguise. You might learn some important lessons during those tough times - like Thomas Edison did. (I know I have.)
These lessons can turn into credentials that will enable you to help others when they're going through tough times.
So don't let negativity ruin your present and future. Instead, build a new habit of having a positive attitude. It will take about 21 days to start seeing consistent changes in the way you think, but it will be worth it!
Now choose the starting date for your attitude-renewal adventure and go for it!
We’ve all heard about the power of our attitude and that it’s our attitude that determines how much we succeed in life. Statements such as “It’s not just our aptitude but our attitude that determines our success” are often sprouted and I think we’d all agree that people with a positive attitude just seem to enjoy life more and are generally happier and more successful. But how do we change our attitude? Here are 7 simple tips I’ve used often that you can implement to change your attitude very quickly.
1. Be honest with yourself.
If you’re feeling bad or down and your attitude towards life or work is quite poor, then admit it to yourself. Don’t live in denial. Accept there is an issue because only once you’ve accepted something for the way it is can you make a change.
2. Get some rest
Have there been times when you’re overworked and stressed and you’re not getting as much rest as you should? How do you feel during those times? I bet you’re agitated and the smallest things can set you off. Often just getting some rest and forcing ourselves to take a break can be the best thing for our attitude. Adequate rest and sleep is a vital ingredient to maintaining a positive attitude.
3. Get clear on exactly what is causing you to have such a bad attitude
What exactly is bothering you? Is it your boss? Your partner? Your kids? There have been many times when I know I’m not quite feeling right but I can’t put a finger on exactly what’s bothering me and until I can figure it out, my attitude remains bad. However, once I figure out exactly what is bothering me (and that usually only takes a few minutes of quiet reflection), I can then do something about it and my attitude immediately changes.
4. Look at the Consequences of your Bad Attitude
For example, are you stressed at work because of impending deadlines? Is that causing you to snap at your kids and walk around the house with a bad attitude. If so, look at the consequences of that. Your poor kids and your partner have got nothing to do with how things are at work. So why should they cop the brunt of your poor attitude? If you continue with this, what’s going to happen? Things at home will only get worse and that will only make your attitude even worse. It’s a negative spiral which is very tough to get out of. So get clear on the consequences of your bad attitude. Who are you hurting as a result of being grumpy?
5. Do Something to change your attitude
What can you do to improve your attitude? For example, if you’ve had a bad day at work and you’re about to walk in the door and see the family with that same bad attitude, what can you do to change the way you feel? If I’m walking home, I will often take a longer route. The added exercise and fresh air often helps clear my head or I’ll start listening to some uplifting music which immediately improves my attitude. I might also go for a run or head to the gym. What can you do to change your attitude.
6. Change the way you are looking at the situation
We all have trigger situations that cause us to get into a bad mood and to have a bad attitude toward life. Remember it is not the event, experience or problem itself but rather the way we respond to it that makes us feel the way we do. For example, if you feel like you have too much to do at work, rather than complaining and wishing it will go away, take on your extra work as a challenge. Imagine how good it would feel to get through all this work and have your head about water again. Then, with your new positive attitude attack your workload with a new enthusiastic gusto. I guarantee that when you change the way you look at something, your attitude and your results will immediately change.
7. Have an attitude of gratitude.
When Sir John Templeton was interviewed and he was asked what the definition of wealth is, he replied, “Live with an attitude of gratitude”. Everyday, look for things to be grateful for. I don’t care how tough things get, there is always something to be grateful for, whether it is as simple as the fact that you have eyes to see things with, a roof over your head or a bed to sleep in. Look for 5 things to be grateful for everyday, seek to live with an attitude of gratitude and watch your entire attitude towards life change.
So there you have it – 7 tips you can use immediately to change your attitude. Remember, you have complete control over your attitude – you can choose the way you feel. So use these 7 steps to improve your attitude and you’ll be amazed at how much more relaxed and happier you feel.
Tips For Changing Your Attitude
Have An Aim
A life without an aim is like a ship in the sea without knowing where it is going. Have you seen the movie “Wake up Sid”, how Ranbir Kapoor’s character Sid, didn’t have a goal in life and how his life changed when he found his goal. Actually, in reality too, many of us are like Sid. We keep on living without an aim and complain about life. Remember that aim is a fuel of life and unless you have a goal, you would roam like the aimless ship. Think of what you want to do with your life. Listen to your heart and then head towards your goal. Attitude will follow you.
Be Ready To Learn
Nobody is perfect and if you think, you don’t have anything to learn from this life then you are living with a wrong attitude. Actually, every one of us can learn so many things every day if we keep our senses alert. Even if you are brilliant and you have never failed in your life, there are many other things to learn from this life. Therefore, whether you are at work, home or anywhere else, be ready to learn and you would feel so much satisfied.
Develop Confidence
Confidence is the key to right attitude and to success. Confidence helps us sail through bad times. Unless you are, sure of yourself how are you going to chase your dream? A right attitude can come only to confident people. Therefore, to change your attitude you need to develop confidence. Confidence will help you change the way you look at things and you would perceive things positively.
Have Self-Respect
Self-respect is deemed as self worth and if you don’t value yourself, how will you make other people value you? Self-respect is not only necessary for self-development but it is also important for inner peace. People who are self-respecting generally keep a calm front even in the time of crisis. Lack of self-respect almost always results in lack of aim, enthusiasm and sense of purpose.
Be Positive
Positivity is the drive of life. It can alter your life for good almost magically. It will not only help you understand yourself properly, it will let you understand others too. A positive attitude will inspire and will help you deal with anything positively. It doesn’t only affect you psychologically but also helps you mentally and physically. A positive attitude is a choice of being positive with oneself and others. It is about being happy and content.
Be Self-Sufficient
You may have all the positive attitude, confidence and everything else, unless you are self-sufficient, your life will not be in your hand. Try to keep yourself self-sufficient, physically, mentally and psychologically. However, be ready to help others and rather than ignoring any crisis, face it with positivity.
Tips to Change Your Attitude
By: Rachel Mork
Change Your Attitude Today!
1. Think like you want to be!
It's tough to be happy, joyful, successful, etc. if you don't think that you are a happy, joyful, and successful person. Think it first, then do it!
2. Smile!
There's no arguing with this one -- research has shown the smiling has both psychological and physiological effects. So, put a smile on your face and you'll be on your way to a change in attitude!
3. Immerse yourself!
Read books, articles, magazines that help you understand and adopt the new attitude. Watch films or listen to music that inspires you and encourages you to change.
4. Change your actions!
It's hard to change your attitude if you keep doing the same old stuff the same old way. Do things differently to start thinking differently.
5. Change your environment!
Make your environment reflect the attitude you wish to have. Create the physical spaced that makes you eager to change.
6. Follow the leader!
Find someone who already has the attitude you wish to have. Follow their lead, learn from their example.
7. Help others (and help yourself)!
One of the fastest ways to change your attitude is to take the focus off yourself and to help others in need.
8. Get a little help from your friends!
Let everyone know what you're doing and enlist their support to help you change and give you ideas. The more you feel like you're part of a group effort, the more likely you are to be successful.
9. Get a pro!
If the change you desire to make is a big one or is extremely radical, consider getting the help of a mentor, counselor, or coach. These professionals can reduce the time & frustration involved as well as provide you with many new ideas to help you grow.
10. Be patient!
Recognize that most changes occur slowly, over an extended period of time. If you don't get immediate results, don't be surprised and DON'T QUIT! Keep working, it'll come.
You want to change your attitude, but you're not sure where to start. The good news is, you can begin to change your attitude by making small shifts in daily thinking that together, contribute to greater overall change.
Objectify the Situation
Try to imagine someone else is in your troubling situation. What could that person do to better the situation? Is it really as awful as it feels? Have you exaggerated your problems in your mind?
Try to imagine someone else is in your troubling situation. What could that person do to better the situation? Is it really as awful as it feels? Have you exaggerated your problems in your mind?
Try to put the situation into perspective. For example, if you recently lost your job, you may feel incredibly depressed. You may fear you will not find a new job quickly or that you will be financially destitute. However, if you take yourself out of the picture and think of it as someone else's problem, you may see a silver lining in the cloud. Maybe you hated that job anyway, and perhaps your next job will be better. Maybe this is an opportunity for you to switch careers or start your own business. If you figure out how much severance and unemployment insurance you will collect, you may realize you can survive longer than you thought on your income and savings.
Bounce It Off a Friend
Sometimes it takes the sage advice and comforting shoulder of a friend for us to change our attitudes. Ask a trusted friend for time one on one and tell them about your situation. Ask for advice or comfort, whichever you need most and are comfortable receiving. Be sure to choose someone who will not gloat or make you feel worse in the end.
Sometimes it takes the sage advice and comforting shoulder of a friend for us to change our attitudes. Ask a trusted friend for time one on one and tell them about your situation. Ask for advice or comfort, whichever you need most and are comfortable receiving. Be sure to choose someone who will not gloat or make you feel worse in the end.
Take a Break
Sometimes a negative situation is so intense that you just need to get out of the situation for a while. For example, if you are in a trying marriage or are overwhelmed by small children and demanding job, you may find a vacation with a friend a much-needed break from the stress of the day-to-day challenges. While on your break, look for solutions to your trying situations. If you can't find solutions, look for coping strategies. Try to identify a end-time-a point when things should be easier-and look for ways to hang on until that time arrives. As you strive to change your attitude about the situation, focus on the coping strategies instead of on the problem.
Sometimes a negative situation is so intense that you just need to get out of the situation for a while. For example, if you are in a trying marriage or are overwhelmed by small children and demanding job, you may find a vacation with a friend a much-needed break from the stress of the day-to-day challenges. While on your break, look for solutions to your trying situations. If you can't find solutions, look for coping strategies. Try to identify a end-time-a point when things should be easier-and look for ways to hang on until that time arrives. As you strive to change your attitude about the situation, focus on the coping strategies instead of on the problem.
Write Out the Positive
If you've been feeling cup-half-empty-ish lately, take the time to write out all the things that are going well in your life. Post this list on your bathroom mirror so you can see your list of blessings as you get ready each morning. Place one positive attitude post it note on the steering wheel of your car so you can even drive to work with a positive thought in mind, even if it's as simple as a note that says, "Enjoy your morning coffee while listening to NPR". In this manner, you will train yourself to think about more positive things, leaving less room for negative thoughts.
If you've been feeling cup-half-empty-ish lately, take the time to write out all the things that are going well in your life. Post this list on your bathroom mirror so you can see your list of blessings as you get ready each morning. Place one positive attitude post it note on the steering wheel of your car so you can even drive to work with a positive thought in mind, even if it's as simple as a note that says, "Enjoy your morning coffee while listening to NPR". In this manner, you will train yourself to think about more positive things, leaving less room for negative thoughts.
Change Your Attitude Today!
by Jim M. Allen
Sure, it's easy to say, "Change your attitude and you'll change your life," but how do you do that if you don't know what to do? After all, if changing one's attitude was easy why don't more people do it? Especially if it means they could be happier, more joyful, and much more successful?
Honestly, I don't know. What I do know, however, is that changing one's attitude doesn't need to be difficult and, in fact, can be quite easy. . . . All you need is to consistently employ a few simple techniques and you'll be on your way. So, to get you started, here are my 10 tips to get you started on improving your attitude. Good luck!
1. Think like you want to be
It's tough to be happy, joyful, successful, etc. if you don't think that you are a happy, joyful, and successful person. Think it first, then do it!
2. Smile
There's no arguing with this one -- research has shown the smiling has both psychological and physiological effects. So, put a smile on your face and you'll be on your way to a change in attitude!
3. Immerse yourself
Read books, articles, magazines that help you understand and adopt the new attitude. Watch films or listen to music that inspires you and encourages you to change.
4. Change your actions
It's hard to change your attitude if you keep doing the same old stuff the same old way. Do things differently to start thinking differently.
5. Change your environment
Make your environment reflect the attitude you wish to have. Create the physical spaced that makes you eager to change.
6. Follow the leader
Find someone who already has the attitude you wish to have. Follow their lead, learn from their example.
7. Help others (and help yourself)
One of the fastest ways to change your attitude is to take the focus off yourself and to help others in need.
8. Get a little help from your friends
Let everyone know what you're doing and enlist their support to help you change and give you ideas. The more you feel like you're part of a group effort, the more likely you are to be successful.
9. Get a pro
If the change you desire to make is a big one or is extremely radical, consider getting the help of a mentor, counselor, or coach. These professionals can reduce the time & frustration involved as well as provide you with many new ideas to help you grow.
10. Be patient
Recognize that most changes occur slowly, over an extended period of time. If you don't get immediate results, don't be surprised and DON'T QUIT! Keep working, it'll come.
1. Think like you want to be!
It's tough to be happy, joyful, successful, etc. if you don't think that you are a happy, joyful, and successful person. Think it first, then do it!
2. Smile!
There's no arguing with this one -- research has shown the smiling has both psychological and physiological effects. So, put a smile on your face and you'll be on your way to a change in attitude!
3. Immerse yourself!
Read books, articles, magazines that help you understand and adopt the new attitude. Watch films or listen to music that inspires you and encourages you to change.
4. Change your actions!
It's hard to change your attitude if you keep doing the same old stuff the same old way. Do things differently to start thinking differently.
5. Change your environment!
Make your environment reflect the attitude you wish to have. Create the physical spaced that makes you eager to change.
6. Follow the leader!
Find someone who already has the attitude you wish to have. Follow their lead, learn from their example.
7. Help others (and help yourself)!
One of the fastest ways to change your attitude is to take the focus off yourself and to help others in need.
8. Get a little help from your friends!
Let everyone know what you're doing and enlist their support to help you change and give you ideas. The more you feel like you're part of a group effort, the more likely you are to be successful.
9. Get a pro!
If the change you desire to make is a big one or is extremely radical, consider getting the help of a mentor, counselor, or coach. These professionals can reduce the time & frustration involved as well as provide you with many new ideas to help you grow.
10. Be patient!
Recognize that most changes occur slowly, over an extended period of time. If you don't get immediate results, don't be surprised and DON'T QUIT! Keep working, it'll come.
